Psalm 80:5
You have fed them with the bread of tears, and given them tears to drink in full measure.
There’s something about honest lament in a culture whose discomfort with grief is palpable, though I’ll have to admit the psalmist makes even me uncomfortable.
It’s core to my working theology that God does not give us tears to drink. God does not, as the psalmist says later, make us the scorn of our enemies. Instead, I trust, God works within the terrible sorrows of our lives to bring good out of evil, life out of death. It makes me uncomfortable to hear the psalmist blaming God for the trouble that has befallen the people.
I imagine the psalmist as my friend, talking with me as we walk. Or as a parishioner, sitting across from me in my office. I imagine how I might respond to this beloved one assigning blame to God. If I were having a bad day myself, I’d have to work really hard not to open my mouth and start defending God. If I were having a good day–a day when it was easier to be true to what I know is right–I would simply sit and listen well.
There’s such power in being heard. And maybe that’s what the psalmist knows in a way that I struggle to keep remembering. Pour out your lament to God; be honest with your anger and your fears; yell at God for feeding you with the bread of tears…and you will be heard. God will not interrupt and defend God’s self. God will not dismiss you or deny your pain. God will listen. You will be heard.
Bracketing the psalmist’s lament is a repeated prayer that speaks of trust and hope even in the midst of despair: Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved.
I wasn’t familiar with Sara Bareilles’ song, Saint Honesty, until I went to work creating the playlist for these devotions. I appreciate the lyrics so much.
We won’t settle for the silence
We won’t drown in the tears
We’ll say every single word even if we think they’ll hurt
Let the rain wash away these tearsRain on us, Saint Honesty
Salvation is coming in the morning, and now what we need
Is a little rain on our face from you, sweet Saint Honesty
Today’s accompanying song is Saint Honesty by Sara Bareilles.